Let's Do the SHORTY

[sbenosa]

Hello, hello fellow coffers! You might want to try the shorty (I don't really know what it's called, but since it's so short, I named it SHORTY. Hehehe).

So what is a shorty?

A shorty is a short story consisting of 300 words or less.

[sbenosa]

Here's my first SHORTY:


CAMPUS QUEEN

In college, she was a campus queen, not just because of her beautiful face and shapely body, but mainly because of what’s inside her pretty head. When she joined a big real estate company, almost every single man in the company wanted to court her. Everywhere she goes, admiring eyes would follow her. Every other week, she gets a marriage proposal, none of which she took seriously. Until she met Ben. He has everything she looks for in a boyfriend. Good looks, above-average IQ, and compassion. They hit it off immediately, and she knew it’s just a matter of time before he’d court her.

When one day Ben asked to speak with her in private, telling her he has something to confess to her, she knew this was it. She noticed the beads of sweat on Ben’s forehead when they were talking face to face. She rejoiced inside. She leaned over, held his hand and encouraged him to talk. When finally Ben opened his mouth, her heart skipped a beat.

“Myla,” he started. “I know Edgardo likes you very much…”

“Don’t worry about him, Ben," she cuts him off. "I don’t feel anything for him.”

Ben’s face brightened.“Great! Look, Myla… do you think there’s something I can do to make him notice me instead?”

//Sherma E. Benosa
07 February 2008; 7:25pm*

[JustKaye25]

Oh wow, nice shorty, I'm gonna make one too!

[allen1109]

nice one sbenosa!!!

pressed for time right now but i'll post a shorty next time.

cheers!!!

[ctivnan]

Here's my first SHORTY:


CAMPUS QUEEN

In college, she was a campus queen, not just because of her beautiful face and shapely body, but mainly because of what’s inside her pretty head. When she joined a big real estate company, almost every single man in the company wanted to court her. Everywhere she goes, admiring eyes would follow her. Every other week, she gets a marriage proposal, none of which she took seriously. Until she met Ben. He has everything she looks for in a boyfriend. Good looks, above-average IQ, and compassion. They hit it off immediately, and she knew it’s just a matter of time before he’d court her.

When one day Ben asked to speak with her in private, telling her he has something to confess to her, she knew this was it. She noticed the beads of sweat on Ben’s forehead when they were talking face to face. She rejoiced inside. She leaned over, held his hand and encouraged him to talk. When finally Ben opened his mouth, her heart skipped a beat.

“Myla,” he started. “I know Edgardo likes you very much…”

“Don’t worry about him, Ben," she cuts him off. "I don’t feel anything for him.”

Ben’s face brightened.“Great! Look, Myla… do you think there’s something I can do to make him notice me instead?”

//Sherma E. Benosa
07 February 2008; 7:25pm*

I like the twist, Sherma!!!
:cupid:

:lol:

[sbenosa]

Heyheyhey! Yup, I'd love to read your shorties, friends!
And I hope you'll have fun, as I did!


:-)

[sbenosa]

Oooopppps!

I came back to say my thanks. :-)

Big thanks and cheers!

[cmo]

Here's my first SHORTY:


CAMPUS QUEEN

In college, she was a campus queen, not just because of her beautiful face and shapely body, but mainly because of what’s inside her pretty head. When she joined a big real estate company, almost every single man in the company wanted to court her. Everywhere she goes, admiring eyes would follow her. Every other week, she gets a marriage proposal, none of which she took seriously. Until she met Ben. He has everything she looks for in a boyfriend. Good looks, above-average IQ, and compassion. They hit it off immediately, and she knew it’s just a matter of time before he’d court her.

When one day Ben asked to speak with her in private, telling her he has something to confess to her, she knew this was it. She noticed the beads of sweat on Ben’s forehead when they were talking face to face. She rejoiced inside. She leaned over, held his hand and encouraged him to talk. When finally Ben opened his mouth, her heart skipped a beat.

“Myla,” he started. “I know Edgardo likes you very much…”

“Don’t worry about him, Ben," she cuts him off. "I don’t feel anything for him.”

Ben’s face brightened.“Great! Look, Myla… do you think there’s something I can do to make him notice me instead?”

//Sherma E. Benosa
07 February 2008; 7:25pm*


:lol::gud:

[santelmo]

oh, im a bad storyteller/ narrator. i have a hard time converting my thoughts into words... that's why i prefer to stay quiet most of the time... :D

[cmo]

oh, im a bad storyteller/ narrator. i have a hard time converting my thoughts into words... that's why i prefer to stay quiet most of the time... :D

Same here ...:emoticon-7:

[sbenosa]

Oh, come on, friends! You can do it. Just try, please? :-) It's something that can be learned. I suggest you start with something that actually happened even if it doesn't have much of a twist in the end. It can be something you find funny. Or whatever. Say, an event that happened this morning. The bottom line is you just try. Before you know it, you're already writing well.

Here's a confession. I'm also a member of an Ilokano online community. Two years ago, I couldn't write well in the language. Now, I've done several articles in Ilokano. I would not have thought it possible just two years ago.

Moreover, I am also no poetess. For some reason, I used to find it so hard to write in metaphors. I used to post in that online community that I wish I could also write rhymes like they do. The guys just encouraged me to try. So I tried. And of course, I studied the styles of some poets. Now, I find it a bit easier to do it. I am still no poetess, but well, I am not as bad as I used to.

So come on, folks! Just try! And have fun!

[sbenosa]

MORE ON SHORTY:

It's just like writing a synopsis, I think. You put in a few sentences the gist of a story. :-) I'll share tommorow how I got into it. I'll just get some zzzzzzzzz!

Goodnight, folks!

[sbenosa]

I thought of writing an essay about the many faces of love as my early valentine special for my blog. I thought I should write several cases to illustrate my point, so I started writing different very short stories to catch my readers' attention.

But then, after three illustrative cases, I realized that each of the stories can stand alone.
I had so much fun writing the shorties that I scrapped the essay altogether.

Here are my very first two shorties, the ones I originally intended to use in the essay.


"I Love You"

He is an Adonis, the Kilabot ng mga Kolehiyala in the university. He sees women as nothing but conquests. For him, the words ‘I love you’ mean no more than a means to get to bed any woman he wants. He boasts to anyone who would listen that there are times when he manages without uttering the words.

His life is just perfect; that is, until he finally gets bitten by the love bug. She is everything he has never seen before; the realization of his dreams. Suddenly, the words 'I Love You' have taken an utterly different meaning.

When she accepts his dinner invitation, he feels he is the happiest man alive. He knows he had never been happier in his life. But when he whispers to her the words — this time, meaning it — she just laughs at him, not believing a single word he says. And worse, she confesses she is in love with someone else.

When she bids him goodbye after thanking him for the nice dinner, he lets out a heavy sigh, as tears flow out of his ailing heart. As he watches her leave, he asks himself how it could have happened that just when he finally learns what love means, love turns its back on him. He closes his eyes, wondering if he would utter the words 'I love you' ever again.



Man Hater

“Man hater” is everyone’s opinion of her at work. Not only hasn’t she ever had a boyfriend, as far as her co-workers know, but she also turns down everyone who asks her for a date. She also doesn’t show any affinity toward the opposite sex. But the truth is that she likes Allan, an officemate who has been courting her for three years. He only stopped months ago, after she told him for the nth time to find someone else.

No, she has no plans of letting him know of her feelings for him. Never again will she give her love to someone, only to cry in the end, which she is sure to happen. Statistics show that a great number of relationships don’t last, and she has been part of the statistics once. She had loved deeply a lifetime ago, and all she got from that relationship was a shattered heart. No, she’s not going to have her heart broken again.

She's sure she's right not to entertain her feelings for Allan. Until this morning, when she saw him walking hand in hand with someone else. She did not feel the tears flowing freely down her cheeks, but she was well aware of the searing pain that was gnawing at her heart.

[patis]

let me try my hand at this. please forgive the crudeness of my work; i have no time to edit it.

Stars

I drew puffs from my cigarette as I stared out the window. It’s awfully chilly tonight, despite today being March, so I donned my sweater and went back to staring at the few stars peeking behind dark clouds. Stars. They are my favorite color. Not blue, not purple. Stars exhibit millions of colors and it’s the incapacity of our human eyes to see just around seven of them. It’s the earthly atmosphere that makes them shine. But the stars do not care – over there, gazillions and gazillions of kilometers above us chumps; they still do what they do: burst out their millions of colors despite what people think, despite the noise that contaminates their glory. They heed not the universe and yet remain magnificent. That is my favorite color.

I quit the window and turned to the door. As I opened the portal I was swamped by the stench of people shouting, demanding, making all sounds of inquiry - except asking. Hours ago my team and I changed the world. We perfected a method to transmute lead to gold. But the world does not want change. Despite our success, we are seen as charlatans in this so called modern age. We are labeled alchemists. The people – no, the world – in their short-sightedness, hate us. I do not.

I stopped listening to the angry mob and just looked at them with my tired eyes. It was then that I saw the glint of metal, then a burst of angry fire. I fell down, feeling nothing, hearing nothing. I turned my head towards the window. I saw less and less stars as clouds rolled over them.

I draw my last puffs.

[sbenosa]

Whoa Patis! That's good!
Very good, indeed. :-)

[patis]

thanks, sbenosa. care to comment, anyone? any criticism, constructive or otherwise, shall be greatly appreciated.

[cmo]

thanks, sbenosa. care to comment, anyone? any criticism, constructive or otherwise, shall be greatly appreciated.

Very good patis!!!! Keep on working on it! :smoking2::approve:

[sbenosa]

Argh! Been a long time since I last posted here. I miss this page too. (Hehehehe. Can't help it; I was the one who started it. Love your own, didn't they say?)

Hmmm... want to post another one. Hang on...

[cmo]

Argh! Been a long time since I last posted here. I miss this page too. (Hehehehe. Can't help it; I was the one who started it. Love your own, didn't they say?)

Hmmm... want to post another one. Hang on...

I noticed that not only you took a long vacation but a good number of other ECs. :hihihi:

Well, it's summer vacation for many, isn't it! :dance3:

[sbenosa]

(Note: This piece contains a little over 300 words.)


Truth vs. Deceit: A Tale

Deeply confused and utterly sad, Truth decided to speak with the Lord.

“Lord," he said in a barely audible voice. "I am confused. You said that I am beautiful, but why is it that when I present myself to people, they would not look at me directly, and would rather look the other way? You said I am good, but why can’t I help hurting people? You said that Deceit is evil, but why is he capable of making people feel better, even if there are times he hurt them as well? You said Deceit is ugly, but why do people stare at him with so much awe?”

The Lord smiled sympathetically. He walked over to Truth, and held him by his shoulders. “My child," He said softly, looking deeply into Truth's troubled eyes. "Do not despair. You are beautiful and pure. You shine so brightly, people cannot bear to look at you directly. They either put a veil over their eyes to see you, or use a mirror to get a glimpse of you, not realizing that though these instruments aid them, they blur you, hence they don’t see you in your full splendor.

“You are good; you do not really hurt people, you just crush their egos. Indeed, Deceit is ugly, but don’t forget that he is a master of disguise. He can change his black cloak into a rainbow, so that those who have not seen your grandeur are amazed at how lovely he appears to be, and they stare at him with great admiration.

“He is evil, because by not showing his real self to people, he dims you. But do not fret, my child. There are those who are brave enough who choose to look at you directly, without any veil, without the need for mirrors. They see you, and they love you. And to them, your beauty is beyond compare." The Lord patted Truth in the back. "Go forth my child, for you are loved.”

Feeling better, Truth thanked the Lord then walked happily back to his world, where he shone and shone brightly, giving light to the whole world.


(PS: He’s still there, standing magnificently for all of us to see. Sometimes we see him, sometimes we don’t. But often, we profess our love for him. But do we really?)


//Sherma E. Benosa
19 May 2008; 11:40am

[cmo]

(Note: This piece contains a little over 300 words.)


Truth vs. Deceit: A Tale

Deeply confused and utterly sad, Truth decided to speak with the Lord.

“Lord," he said in a barely audible voice. "I am confused. You said that I am beautiful, but why is it that when I present myself to people, they would not look at me directly, and would rather look the other way? You said I am good, but why can’t I help hurting people? You said that Deceit is evil, but why is he capable of making people feel better, even if there are times he hurt them as well? You said Deceit is ugly, but why do people stare at him with so much awe?”

The Lord smiled sympathetically. He walked over to Truth, and held him by his shoulders. “My child," He said softly, looking deeply into Truth's troubled eyes. "Do not despair. You are beautiful and pure. You shine so brightly, people cannot bear to look at you directly. They either put a veil over their eyes to see you, or use a mirror to get a glimpse of you, not realizing that though these instruments aid them, they blur you, hence they don’t see you in your full splendor.

“You are good; you do not really hurt people, you just crush their egos. Indeed, Deceit is ugly, but don’t forget that he is a master of disguise. He can change his black cloak into a rainbow, so that those who have not seen your grandeur are amazed at how lovely he appears to be, and they stare at him with great admiration.

“He is evil, because by not showing his real self to people, he dims you. But do not fret, my child. There are those who are brave enough who choose to look at you directly, without any veil, without the need for mirrors. They see you, and they love you. And to them, your beauty is beyond compare." The Lord patted Truth in the back. "Go forth my child, for you are loved.”

Feeling better, Truth thanked the Lord then walked happily back to his world, where he shone and shone brightly, giving light to the whole world.


(PS: He’s still there, standing magnificently for all of us to see. Sometimes we see him, sometimes we don’t. But often, we profess our love for him. But do we really?)


//Sherma E. Benosa
19 May 2008; 11:40am

This is a true tale! It's for life!!! :prayer:

[sbenosa]

I noticed that not only you took a long vacation but a good number of other ECs. :hihihi:

Well, it's summer vacation for many, isn't it! :dance3:


Yay! :hihihi: :cute3: How are you, friendster? Hope you had a great summer vacation, too? I'm thinking of having a grand comeback. Any ideas? :coffee1:

[cmo]

Yay! :hihihi: :cute3: How are you, friendster? Hope you had a great summer vacation, too? I'm thinking of having a grand comeback. Any ideas? :coffee1:

I have not seen vacation yet this summer! It looks like vacation will be just a dream as work keeps on piling up. :crying:

Hum, you are thinking on a grand comeback! ECs will enjoy chocolate! :sign_lol:

:welcome::welcome::welcome:

[pinoypower]

Hello, hello fellow coffers! You might want to try the shorty (I don't really know what it's called, but since it's so short, I named it SHORTY. Hehehe).

So what is a shorty?

A shorty is a short story consisting of 300 words or less.

I actually asked for a forum like this some time ago for some members to try their creative writing skills in essays and short stories.

I'll definitely try one and post it later. Nice thread!:D

[gAn]

Very well written, sbenosa!

:gud:

[gAn]

Very well written, sbenosa!

:gud:
Ooops! My comment was for sbenosa's Truth vs. Deceit. I replied to the post at the bottom of Page 2...didn't realize there was Page 3.

[sbenosa]

Hi CMO! I'll bring loads and loads of chocolates for EC members when I can finally attend our EBs! :-) Thanks for the warm "welcome-back." hehehehehehhe

Hello PINOYPOWER! How are you? I hope you're having a good time. I love reading creative posts/threads. Come join in. :-) See you around, friendster!

Hi gAn! Big, big thanks! :-)

[gAn]

Welcome back, sbenosa!

:wave:

[sbenosa]

OK. SO WE WANT TO DO THE SHORTY?

The first tip I gave was trying to make a synopsis, then improve from there.

Here's the next: ANECDOTE. You can start by first writing about things that actually happened, not the make-believe. The important thing is we get started.

Do you remember funny conversations you had with friends, or even strangers? Do you remember the exhange? Then why don't you share with us? Before you know it, you've made a shorty.

Following is an anecdote I wrote in 2006. The incident happened when I was a kid, but I still remember it clearly.

[sbenosa]

THE WALL DECOR

“Jing, be careful that you don’t step on the décor,” mother warned, referring to the glass décor she laid on the floor about three meters from where I was playing jackstone. “It might break.”

“Ok mom,” I replied, wondering if it would indeed break.

I resumed with my playing. But soon, my curiosity as to whether the decor would indeed break if I stepped onto it got over me, that I decided to find out if it was true. Making sure mom was still busy cleaning the walls in the other room, I sneaked into the décor and stepped onto it, half expecting to hear a cracking sound.

Nothing.

Mom’s lying! I told myself. It didn’t break!

I went back to playing. But then another thought troubled me. Was mom really lying? But why? What if I just did not step on it hard enough?

I went back to the décor to try it one more time.

I stepped onto the forbidden object. One foot first. Nothing happened.

Two feet.

CRRRRRAAAAAAAACCKKKK!

“Oh you! I told you not to go near it.” Mom shrieked.

“Sorry mom.” I said.

She didn’t know it wasn’t for the broken décor but for something else that I was apologizing.

//Seb

[sbenosa]

Hope this will help:

Step 1. Write the conversations like this (I borrowed the following conversation from Kai28's post, Just for Laughs).

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

Step 2. Think of an appropriate setting. In this story, I think it's got to be the sea.

Step 3. Think of an action. What could be the characters doing while having the conversation? How about, walking hand-in-hand.

Step 4. Description. What could be the characters wearing? Or how could the surrounding look like? Are the characters beautiful? etc. In this "workshop," let's just say that its only the surroundings we want to describe. So maybe we want to be romantic. How about sunset?

I think we are about ready to write the shorty. Story-like. Does someone want to try it?

[sam_wel]

Here's my first SHORTY:


CAMPUS QUEEN

In college, she was a campus queen, not just because of her beautiful face and shapely body, but mainly because of what’s inside her pretty head. When she joined a big real estate company, almost every single man in the company wanted to court her. Everywhere she goes, admiring eyes would follow her. Every other week, she gets a marriage proposal, none of which she took seriously. Until she met Ben. He has everything she looks for in a boyfriend. Good looks, above-average IQ, and compassion. They hit it off immediately, and she knew it’s just a matter of time before he’d court her.

When one day Ben asked to speak with her in private, telling her he has something to confess to her, she knew this was it. She noticed the beads of sweat on Ben’s forehead when they were talking face to face. She rejoiced inside. She leaned over, held his hand and encouraged him to talk. When finally Ben opened his mouth, her heart skipped a beat.

“Myla,” he started. “I know Edgardo likes you very much…”

“Don’t worry about him, Ben," she cuts him off. "I don’t feel anything for him.”

Ben’s face brightened.“Great! Look, Myla… do you think there’s something I can do to make him notice me instead?”

//Sherma E. Benosa
07 February 2008; 7:25pm*

hahahah lolz

[pinoypower]

hahahah lolz

Hahaha! I missed the post and the twist earlier. Now I just realized who the real 'campus queen' is. Don't cry Myla, I'm here! :flashy:

[sam_wel]

Hahahha.. i really dont know how to make a story.. anyhow, comments are welcome... constructive and destructive alike. Grammatical corrections as well are welcome.

3 Feet

John is having a strong grip on a tree root, hanging on a cliff. 30 minutes ago, he remembers, he was driving his car. He was heading home. He came from a bar and had a couple of drinks and some flirting with some sexy alluring girls. He and his wife had a fight earlier, and the bar has always been providing him comfort after a quarel. Out of a sudden, his car's break wasnt working. He tried to maneuaver it to the left but he noticed late, he was heading on a cliff. He made his best and jumped through the window before the car flew in the air and a clashing was heard. he was lucky enough to catch a root from where he landed, otherwise, he could have been dead?

"Oh my God!" he whispers. "Am I going to die here?"

He has been shouting for help and hoping that someone will hear him. He's so tired from holding on to the piece of root that maybe, was planned to be there for the purpose of the present account; saving his life?

"God," he cries in a low tone, drenched in his own sweat and his hand shivering, exhausted from clenching on the root for a long time. "If you let me live, I promise, I will just focus on my family and career, no more fling and flirting." He feels so ashamed of himself for resorting to praying to God. He never did anything like that and he neve has plans of doing it either, was it not only of his situation.

"But if I die tonight," he continues, "take charge of my family." Then he remembers his beautiful wife who loves him dearly, that despite it, he still fell to Infidelity's charming embraces; his two kids, who asked him many times innocently, "Are you having a fight?" whenever they hear them shout with each other; the innocent smiles on their faces.

"Please, take good care of them," he earnestly says breathing deep before he closes his eyes and let go off his hand from the root, which he doubt for the first time if its existence is for his salvation.

A second or two passed when a hard laugh is heard. John is crying and laughing at the same time. He has mixed emotions. He realizd he is alive and that he has a long time to spent with his family. He learned that the root was not there for his salvation but to give him time to think of his family.... you know from where John was suspended hanging clinching on a root, to the ground, he was only 3 feet off.