What can we do?

[q_sharon]

I am just soliciting some "help" for a dear friend who had cancer, had undergone three surgeries and after overcoming the big "C", is again troubled with its recurrence. Refusing another round of treatment like chemotherapy and the like, he said he would just let go.
If you were me, how would you encourage him to undergo the needed treatment and continue to fight ? That's the kind of "help" i want to ask from you. Your opinions matter. :clover: :listening:

[patis]

do not talk about cancer, death, life, the magnanimity of the universe and stuff. just invite him to go outside, have some small fun. or an incredibly weird fun like the one in that robin williams movie. you know what im talking about, where he made a pool of spaghetti so that the old lady can fulfill her dreams of swimming into spaghetti slosh. any talk about the profundity of life and death and honor will suck the will out of him. is what i think. im no sigmund freud, but i think fun little things can make people forget (and hopefully crawl out of) the rut they're in. just my two cents.

[racz_jay25]

q_sharon, I agree with what patis said..

I can't give you any help coz I don't wanna talk 'bout this stuff..What happened to me/my family ten years ago is still fresh in my mind.. My father had cancer and before we knew it, he's already dying.. There's no treatment.. The doctor told us that he has three more months to live.. He didn't know that he was dying until a day before his death..

Sorry.. I should give you some advice but I can't help thinking 'bout it..

Just take patis'..

[q_sharon]

thanks, guys. you are both big help. i will take your advice, patis!! amen.

[jhayne]

Sorry to butt in. I am not that good at giving advices.. just want to say what will i do if i were you .. I would let my friend be aware of his family and friends who still cares for him and that we love him very much. I will let him know that all of us will support him whatever decisions he'll make be it to stop the treatment or to continue it but tell him that it's best if he will not give up coz all of us is not giving up on him. Then after that .. we'll continue to live life like an ordinary one without any thought of the big C, he'll have to decide on his own.

[mcs]

"I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care." But how can you show that you care??? That was the big question from my friend when the doctors diagnosed that her mom had a cancer. I joined my friend and we did some research about cancer patient. And we learned that…. it is good to be encouraging… But do not show false optimism or to tell the person with cancer to always have a positive attitude. Doing these things may be seen as discounting their fears, concerns, or sad feelings. It is also tempting to say that you know how the person feels. While you may know this is a trying time, no one can know exactly how the person with cancer feels.

I agree also with patis. Humor is very important. It is another source of support and encouragement. This can be a great way to relieve stress and to take a break from the more serious nature of the situation.

When the person with cancer looks good, let them know! Avoid making comments when their appearance isn't as good, such as "You're looking pale," or "You've lost weight." Cancer and its treatment can be very unpredictable. Be prepared for good days and bad days.



:SINGING:

[q_sharon]

This friend of mine whose big C had a returned bout passed away a few months ago. He actually followed his family's and friends' advice of going under the knife once more, but he failed to make it this time. After lingering in coma for a month, he died on the day he actually preferred to, September 9,2008. And he let me feel his presence exactly on that day to say "goodbye", even if I was miles away. He covered my picture hanging on the wall with my folding umbrella. Can you imagine him playing that eerie joke on me?

But I guess he had also lived his life to its fullest with just a few regrets. I know he is much happier now, wherever he is.


@patis:cupid:

@racz:cupid:

@jhayne:cupid:

@mcs:cupid:


Thanks for those nice warm words that even if I read them too late, :sleeping:they were doses of inspiring thoughts that somehow eased my pain of losing a good friend.

:MISS: