trailblazerstravelntours
04/27/08, 11:07 PM
Any violent reactions? Let your fellow coffeers know. And tell us why you agree with the title/article or not. :cupid:
tRuE LoVe iS oVeR iN 30 mOnThs
1. Love is not forever. In fact, for most people, it lasts no more than 30months. After that, according to one of the researchers into the nature of romance, couples face the choice of breaking up or continuing on out of habit.
2. The conclusions of Professor Cindy Hazan of Cornell University are based on 5,000 interviews across 37 cultures and medical tests on couples. The conclusions challenge the romantic ideal and suggest instead that men and women are biologically and mentally predisposed to be "in love" for only 18-30 months. That is just long enough for a couple to meet, mate, and have a child. After that, there is no evolutionary need for the sweaty palms often associated with the high point of love.
3. "There is mounting evidence that what we call love is created by a chemical cocktail in the brain triggered through social conditioning," says Hazan. These chemicals, which are registered together only during the initial stages of courtship, are dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin. But even the most ardent romantics develop a tolerance to the effects of these chemicals. "The effect wears off, returning people to a relatively relaxed state of mind within two years, " says Hazan.
4. "By the that time, couples have either parted or decided that they are easy enough with each other to stay together. Love becomes a habit, especially if children are in the frame. But those chemicals rarely return again in the relationship. That is it for true love."
5. "People who need these chemicals could become serial romantics," she says, "such as Henry VIII. They are genuinely in love, or at least the chemicals make them think they are -- which amounts to the same thing."
6. The Cornell study indicates that most men fall in love more quickly :smitten: and easily than women, and that women end most relationships :D. This may suggest that women get less hooked on the cocktail of love.
7. People can be shocked by how quickly they fall out of love. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow revealed why she left Brad Pitt after nearly three years together. "I was sure Brad was the love of my life and then suddenly one day I did not feel the same. Nothing happened, but doubt set in. I told myself it was better to have enjoyed the relationship while it lasted rather than try to stretch it out and become really unhappy," she said.
8.. Yet there are those who get through the 30-month barrier. Jean Wormall, 73, has been married for 54 years. She met Bill in the 1940s, and they had a child after a year of marriage. She said: "It's good for couples to a have a year or two together to see if it will really work before having a family. But do not think you can regain that first flush of love. Yu have to find another word for what keeps you going."
:DANCER::DANCER::DANCER:
any suggestion for that "word?" :cupid:
Adapted from Sunday Times
tRuE LoVe iS oVeR iN 30 mOnThs
1. Love is not forever. In fact, for most people, it lasts no more than 30months. After that, according to one of the researchers into the nature of romance, couples face the choice of breaking up or continuing on out of habit.
2. The conclusions of Professor Cindy Hazan of Cornell University are based on 5,000 interviews across 37 cultures and medical tests on couples. The conclusions challenge the romantic ideal and suggest instead that men and women are biologically and mentally predisposed to be "in love" for only 18-30 months. That is just long enough for a couple to meet, mate, and have a child. After that, there is no evolutionary need for the sweaty palms often associated with the high point of love.
3. "There is mounting evidence that what we call love is created by a chemical cocktail in the brain triggered through social conditioning," says Hazan. These chemicals, which are registered together only during the initial stages of courtship, are dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin. But even the most ardent romantics develop a tolerance to the effects of these chemicals. "The effect wears off, returning people to a relatively relaxed state of mind within two years, " says Hazan.
4. "By the that time, couples have either parted or decided that they are easy enough with each other to stay together. Love becomes a habit, especially if children are in the frame. But those chemicals rarely return again in the relationship. That is it for true love."
5. "People who need these chemicals could become serial romantics," she says, "such as Henry VIII. They are genuinely in love, or at least the chemicals make them think they are -- which amounts to the same thing."
6. The Cornell study indicates that most men fall in love more quickly :smitten: and easily than women, and that women end most relationships :D. This may suggest that women get less hooked on the cocktail of love.
7. People can be shocked by how quickly they fall out of love. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow revealed why she left Brad Pitt after nearly three years together. "I was sure Brad was the love of my life and then suddenly one day I did not feel the same. Nothing happened, but doubt set in. I told myself it was better to have enjoyed the relationship while it lasted rather than try to stretch it out and become really unhappy," she said.
8.. Yet there are those who get through the 30-month barrier. Jean Wormall, 73, has been married for 54 years. She met Bill in the 1940s, and they had a child after a year of marriage. She said: "It's good for couples to a have a year or two together to see if it will really work before having a family. But do not think you can regain that first flush of love. Yu have to find another word for what keeps you going."
:DANCER::DANCER::DANCER:
any suggestion for that "word?" :cupid:
Adapted from Sunday Times