Joke Collections

[ac_bry]

Joke collectionHi everyone,


In this stress full lives of ours I want to tell some jokes so that anyone of them could bring a smile atleast on your faces so here they go :-
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
ELLEN : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
ELLLEN : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : ELLEN, go to the map and find North America.
ELLEN : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : ELLEN!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : ELLEN, how do you spell "crocodile"?
ELLEN : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
ELLEN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE? "
ELLEN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
ELLEN : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
ELLEN : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
ELLEN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
ELLEN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, ELLLEN, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
ELLLEN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : ELLEN, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
ELLEN: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
ELLEN: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-

[skykeeper]

ac_bry you are now the queen of jokes
Thanks a lot for sharing,
I like the first 2 jokes and the last one..

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x26/Tiggerlily98/no.jpg:DANCER:

[racz_jay25]

-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
ELLEN: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-



Some teachers are really boring but sometimes, the teachers are really good but the students aren't willing to learn.

[skykeeper]

I am agree with you Miss racz,
but sometimes, because of being lousy of teachers, students no longer listened to them.
I remember my highschool teacher in History,, she's so idle, she did nothing aside from selling her candies,..one candy per student,

[gAn]

ac_bry, thanks for the jokes. They're funny but I had difficulty reading the ones printed in light blue (aqua).

[ac_bry]

ac_bry you are now the queen of jokes
Thanks a lot for sharing,
I like the first 2 jokes and the last one..

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x26/Tiggerlily98/no.jpg:DANCER:


I'm glad to hear you liked it. It feels good when you make someone happy or laughed. :jumpingangel:

[skykeeper]

it's great to bring joy to others.Thanks again for sharing.More jokes Miss ac_bry

[gAn]

ac_bry, thanks a lot for editing your joke collection! I appreciate the change in color!

:thanks:

[veron]

ac_bry... thanks so much for sharing the jokes....it lightened my day!

[ac_bry]

ac_bry, thanks a lot for editing your joke collection! I appreciate the change in color!

:thanks:

You are always welcome gan. I appreciate your comment too. :thankyou:

[ac_bry]

ac_bry... thanks so much for sharing the jokes....it lightened my day!

Thanks to you too. I will try to post more of this. Im glad i made others laugh and smile even though someone always made me sad and cry.

[gAn]

Thanks to you too. I will try to post more of this. Im glad i made others laugh and smile even though someone always made me sad and cry.
Forget him!

Just visit EC as often as you can...it's the best therapy! Play in the Arcade too!

:flash:

[ac_bry]

Forget him!

Just visit EC as often as you can...it's the best therapy! Play in the Arcade too!

:flash:


How did you know it's him? :crying: Yeah your right. I just have to visit EC as often as i can. Reading and posting threads made me feel somehow better. Thank you gan and thanks to english coffee. :thankyou:

[gAn]

How did you know it's him? :crying: Yeah your right. I just have to visit EC as often as i can. Reading and posting threads made me feel somehow better. Thank you gan and thanks to english coffee. :thankyou:
You're welcome, ac_bry!

How did I know it's him? You posted about him in another thread, remember?

[ac_bry]

You're welcome, ac_bry!

How did I know it's him? You posted about him in another thread, remember?


:ashamed1: Well im glad you read most of my threads. Nice to hear that. :smilie3: But i feel ashamed now. :ashamed1:

[ctivnan]

Forget him!

Just visit EC as often as you can...it's the best therapy! Play in the Arcade too!

:flash:



I agree with Gan, Ac_bry. If someone makes you sad and cry, then that person (your lover or friend) is not good to be around you. He or she is just going to pull you down to the pit. Look for people or situations that make you happy and empower you to be better! :yey: You are special and you deserve all the best life has to offer! Check out Charm's thread on Thoughts on Happiness (http://english-coffee.com/showthread.php?t=2889&highlight=happiness).

[gAn]

Look for people or situations that make you happy and empower you to be better!
You are special and you deserve all the best life has to offer!

Excellent advice, ctivnan! What you said applies to all the Coffeers! :gud:

[trailblazerstravelntours]

Joke collection

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE? "[/COLOR

[LEFT]ELLEN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-

*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, ELLLEN, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
[LEFT]ELLLEN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
[COLOR=#800000]TEACHER : ELLEN, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
ELLEN: No, teacher, it's the same dog !



:lol:

Thanks, acy_bry!

[ayame5987vhi]

hahaha.. nice jokes acy_bry!
i found some word jokes..
^_^

when you rearrange the letters...

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif
When you rearrange the letters:
http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif WOMAN HITLER http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif

[ac_bry]

hahaha.. nice jokes acy_bry!
i found some word jokes..
^_^

when you rearrange the letters...

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif
When you rearrange the letters:
http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif WOMAN HITLER http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif


:lol:Very funny. Thanks for sharing it.


DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT.

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

[racz_jay25]

Haha! thanks for sharing, I like these

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW: http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif
When you rearrange the letters:
http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif WOMAN HITLER http://www.fropki.com/images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif

[ayame5987vhi]

hehehehe.. your welcome ^_^

[ronzam2002]

that is quite funny....