kell
12/04/08, 03:43 PM
Hi, I just had my 30-day retreat at Sacred Heart Retreat and Seminary Center in Novaliches, QC. Last night (Dec. 3, 2008), my batchmates and I were invited by our community of San Jose Seminary to share the fruits of our Long Retreat. Here's mine:
I’ve been walking above this earth for 32 years, searching for what’s really God’s Will for me. More than that, I’ve been traveling and searching for my true identity. I kept, then, on asking myself “Who am I?” “What’s my purpose here?” “Why am I here?” “Why I keep on living and existing in this seemingly world of nonsense?” I’ve been wandering, searching, and looking for answers all my life. I’ve approached Philosophy but it offered little help to me. I’ve approached Science but it gave me little answers to my life’s yearnings. Yet when I met this Friend named God in the person of Jesus Christ, my life slowly took a different turn. The place where Jesus met and led me to this different turn was none other than my 30 days with God Himself.
It happened when I met Him in a place called Sacred Heart Novitiate and toured me on the first place of this different turn. This first place is none other than the FIRST WEEK. In this place, Jesus showed me that I’m indeed God’s son, just like Him, for I’m created in His own image and likeness (Cf. Gen. 1:26 NRSV) with all of my giftedness as person, complete with talents, skills, potentials, virtues, and wisdom. More than that, within every nucleus of every cell in my body lies a Force that gives me more than just consciousness itself. This Force gives me Life. This Force is none other than God Himself. So meaning to say, all this time, God dwells within me and He made my body His Temple (Cf. 1 Cor. 6:19)! I almost cried happily at this wonderful realization. How blessed and privileged am I as God’s son and creation with dignity and the privilege that I truly deserve as a human person. Then Jesus revealed to me a Secret long hidden from me since I was a child. That Secret is none other than God’s True Will. What’s God’s True Will? It is His Will and Great Desire that He and I should live in loving and intimate union. That’s the reason why He created me so He can have someone to share His Love and to love with. Likewise, He created me and gave me life so I can love Him truly out of deep gratitude and reverence since He created me out of love. God, then, does not only love, but also He is love (Cf. 1 Jn 4:8). There can be no truth more profound and sublime than this. Thus, I realized that my true vocation isn’t priesthood itself, nor married life. My true vocation, and ultimately the purpose of my life, is to be with God – no more, no less. God is enough for me. Because of this, I shall only do what leads me closer to God. This Secret that Jesus revealed to me is the pearl of great. In a different way, this is the Treasure that I alone, with the help of Jesus, discovered it and I shall treasure it all my life long. I am truly in love with God and I love God. I pray, then, for the grace that I will stay in love with God until I truly rest in Him.
As I continued walking with Jesus, I noticed along the way my sinfulness and weaknesses as a human being. With all the sins I’ve committed in the past, I am nothing more but a useless creature with all the dirt on me due to my sins. I felt that I was covered with a lot of manure that made me smell foul and look ugly. Truly, I deserved to die and be punished in Hell for all of my sins. I have nothing to be proud of. But I wondered why I am still alive and breathing fresh air despite my sinfulness. I then found out that the reason why I was spared was because Jesus saved me by taking my place of punishment. He, then, paid for my life with His Life! What a crazy idea to do this someone insignificant like me! Yet He did it when He died on the Cross for me because He loved me more than I can ever imagine. Before I can even say “I’m sorry,” He already forgave me with His mercy, compassion, love, and most of all, His Life. What a Guy! He did it because He sees me not as a dirt, a shit, or a useless being, but a lovable friend, brother, companion, disciple, and a kabarkada. How noble and great He is for me! I can never thank Him much for this. It’s so overwhelming. All I can ever say is “Thank you for saving me.” I really wanted to know this Guy, this God-Man named Jesus who saved me unconditionally out of love. I asked God the Father to let me know Him more so I can love Him more as my new found friend and companion. God answered my simple prayer and so I was able to arrive at the second place of my journey with Jesus which was the SECOND WEEK.
In the SECOND WEEK, Jesus revealed Himself truly as both God and Man in contemplations. Yet He is a different being for I really talked to him, laughed with him, assisted him, asked him, approached him, and even loved and respected Him as He was to me. I freely related to Him without fear of ranks or status for in our relationship, we are indeed brothers, friends, and kabarkada with each other. I was comfortable with Him and He’s comfortable with me. Then I marveled at His wisdom, especially being a 12-year old prodigy explaining about the words of the prophets to wise men when He decided to stay in the Temple for awhile and before He was fetched by His parents. More than that, I got to know the humanness of Jesus. I found out that He’s industrious, humble, creative, innocent, obedient, generous, open-minded, firm, confident, assertive, merciful, forgiving, and even humorous. Yes, I was able to know His sense of humor as I bonded with Him and His disciples in their casual and friendly conversations. I was happy to know this Great Guy. More than that, I was glad that Jesus was happy to be with me and found me to be a good friend and someone easy to get along with. We’re truly good friends to one another. However, I got to know Him even more when I arrived at a third place on my journey with Jesus which was the THIRD WEEK.
In the THIRD WEEK, I’ve seen much of the humanness of Jesus. I’ve seen and witnessed how He was afraid to take the sufferings He must undertake, so afraid that He sweat blood in His loneliness and agony in the Garden of Gethsemane wherein He prayed and begged God the Father if it was possible for Him not to take the Cup. Yet in the end, He accepted because of His Love for His Father. More than that, He humbly accepted it because He loved me. That was why He was able to face His sufferings though they were so unbearable. He was humiliated, insulted, mocked, beaten, whipped with spikes, forced to carry His Cross, and nailed on His Cross before He breathed His Last. Because of my closeness to Him as His kabarkada, I felt His pains so badly. I felt how He was whipped as each whip lash torn a portion of His flesh. I felt the heaviness of the Cross at His weakened state since He hadn’t eaten, drunk, slept, nor rested momentarily even the night before. I felt the pain of His wounded body as He cried aloud in agony as His garments were torn off. I felt the simultaneous pounding of nails on His Hands and Feet. Most of all, how He struggled to breathe before He expired. I was really hurt for every punishment He took. I was grieving so badly at my Friend whom I loved much and who took this punishment. So even a God can suffer very excruciating pains and agony, I learned. What a crazy thought, I said. I then asked Jesus why He had to take this punishment and make it all the way to His death which only fools would do since He did no wrong. He answered me that He did it for me. I asked why. He humbly answered that He loves me much and that was why He took a great mile just to express His love for me. I asked further why did He love me. He answered me that it was because I have a special place in His Heart. I finally asked Him, “How much do you love me?” He then gently said, “This much.” I then looked up at my crucified Friend and beheld the sight. All of a sudden, I knelt and bowed down as tears suddenly dropped from my eyes. I was so sad that He had to do this for me out of love. For this, I couldn’t thank Him much for His love is so indescribable and even far greater than the gravity of the punishments He endured for me. What a Friend He was! I was then crying in sadness yet in thanksgiving. But my days of sackcloth came to an end when I arrived at the last leg of the journey with Jesus which was the FOURTH WEEK.
The FOURTH WEEK was where I was taken by surprise as Jesus suddenly appeared to me FULLY ALIVE and happy in my moments of sadness and desolation. His wounds and scare were still on His Body but He was indeed alive for He can perfectly stand and move about. Most of all, He was able to console me with His words of peace, encouragement, and happiness. Yes, He was happy because He was really happy to be alive for and see me. I, too, was so overjoyed at His glorious resurrection. He then told me that the reason why He was able to rise mightily from His Death was because of His love for me, a love so strong that not even death can destroy it! How wonderful is Jesus’ Love for me! How amazing the love of God! It was indeed an ALLELUIA for me as I praised God in the person of Jesus for this awesome, magnificent, and amazing grace and power called LOVE.
As I’m about to reach the end of my tour with Jesus, I can’t deny that I learned so many things. For instance, I can be like Jesus by imitating His human attitudes and values. I can never be afraid because He’s always there with me through the Holy Spirit (Cf. Gen. 26:24). So courage is guaranteed when I asked earnestly and humbly from God as a grace. With it, I can really stand firm, no matter how terrible the criticisms I will reap from different people and not matter how hard life may be. After all, I’m not here to please anyone but I’m called to give my best in everything I do so I can really give glory to God as I do my best to find God in everything and everyone. God is indeed a wonderful and very cheerful Friend to be with because of my experience with Jesus. God dwells within me indeed, making me so special. He also dwells in every human being and in His creation. So I’ll take care of His Handiwork and love and respect follow human beings, especially you my brothers and fathers because God lives in each and everyone of you. Lastly, there’s indeed a love so strong, stronger than death itself. I want to learn how to love like Jesus. I asked Jesus how. Yet He first asked me if I really wanted to learn this. I truly answered “YES.” He then asked me if I wish to follow Him. Again, I said “YES” with all of my willingness and great desire for it so I can express it in word and deed to all. In this way, I can share this Love that comes from God. More than that, I want to follow and be with my Friend Whom I love so much. He told me, “Then follow me. Your real journey has just begun.” Thus, it was the start of my journey with my new found friend and companion named Jesus.
Indeed, my testimony of my Long Retreat isn’t actually finished for I accepted to be and to go with Jesus in this Greatest Travel so I can really learn the Love of God and express and share it in my own giftedness and uniqueness as a person and a child of God. :superhappy:
I’ve been walking above this earth for 32 years, searching for what’s really God’s Will for me. More than that, I’ve been traveling and searching for my true identity. I kept, then, on asking myself “Who am I?” “What’s my purpose here?” “Why am I here?” “Why I keep on living and existing in this seemingly world of nonsense?” I’ve been wandering, searching, and looking for answers all my life. I’ve approached Philosophy but it offered little help to me. I’ve approached Science but it gave me little answers to my life’s yearnings. Yet when I met this Friend named God in the person of Jesus Christ, my life slowly took a different turn. The place where Jesus met and led me to this different turn was none other than my 30 days with God Himself.
It happened when I met Him in a place called Sacred Heart Novitiate and toured me on the first place of this different turn. This first place is none other than the FIRST WEEK. In this place, Jesus showed me that I’m indeed God’s son, just like Him, for I’m created in His own image and likeness (Cf. Gen. 1:26 NRSV) with all of my giftedness as person, complete with talents, skills, potentials, virtues, and wisdom. More than that, within every nucleus of every cell in my body lies a Force that gives me more than just consciousness itself. This Force gives me Life. This Force is none other than God Himself. So meaning to say, all this time, God dwells within me and He made my body His Temple (Cf. 1 Cor. 6:19)! I almost cried happily at this wonderful realization. How blessed and privileged am I as God’s son and creation with dignity and the privilege that I truly deserve as a human person. Then Jesus revealed to me a Secret long hidden from me since I was a child. That Secret is none other than God’s True Will. What’s God’s True Will? It is His Will and Great Desire that He and I should live in loving and intimate union. That’s the reason why He created me so He can have someone to share His Love and to love with. Likewise, He created me and gave me life so I can love Him truly out of deep gratitude and reverence since He created me out of love. God, then, does not only love, but also He is love (Cf. 1 Jn 4:8). There can be no truth more profound and sublime than this. Thus, I realized that my true vocation isn’t priesthood itself, nor married life. My true vocation, and ultimately the purpose of my life, is to be with God – no more, no less. God is enough for me. Because of this, I shall only do what leads me closer to God. This Secret that Jesus revealed to me is the pearl of great. In a different way, this is the Treasure that I alone, with the help of Jesus, discovered it and I shall treasure it all my life long. I am truly in love with God and I love God. I pray, then, for the grace that I will stay in love with God until I truly rest in Him.
As I continued walking with Jesus, I noticed along the way my sinfulness and weaknesses as a human being. With all the sins I’ve committed in the past, I am nothing more but a useless creature with all the dirt on me due to my sins. I felt that I was covered with a lot of manure that made me smell foul and look ugly. Truly, I deserved to die and be punished in Hell for all of my sins. I have nothing to be proud of. But I wondered why I am still alive and breathing fresh air despite my sinfulness. I then found out that the reason why I was spared was because Jesus saved me by taking my place of punishment. He, then, paid for my life with His Life! What a crazy idea to do this someone insignificant like me! Yet He did it when He died on the Cross for me because He loved me more than I can ever imagine. Before I can even say “I’m sorry,” He already forgave me with His mercy, compassion, love, and most of all, His Life. What a Guy! He did it because He sees me not as a dirt, a shit, or a useless being, but a lovable friend, brother, companion, disciple, and a kabarkada. How noble and great He is for me! I can never thank Him much for this. It’s so overwhelming. All I can ever say is “Thank you for saving me.” I really wanted to know this Guy, this God-Man named Jesus who saved me unconditionally out of love. I asked God the Father to let me know Him more so I can love Him more as my new found friend and companion. God answered my simple prayer and so I was able to arrive at the second place of my journey with Jesus which was the SECOND WEEK.
In the SECOND WEEK, Jesus revealed Himself truly as both God and Man in contemplations. Yet He is a different being for I really talked to him, laughed with him, assisted him, asked him, approached him, and even loved and respected Him as He was to me. I freely related to Him without fear of ranks or status for in our relationship, we are indeed brothers, friends, and kabarkada with each other. I was comfortable with Him and He’s comfortable with me. Then I marveled at His wisdom, especially being a 12-year old prodigy explaining about the words of the prophets to wise men when He decided to stay in the Temple for awhile and before He was fetched by His parents. More than that, I got to know the humanness of Jesus. I found out that He’s industrious, humble, creative, innocent, obedient, generous, open-minded, firm, confident, assertive, merciful, forgiving, and even humorous. Yes, I was able to know His sense of humor as I bonded with Him and His disciples in their casual and friendly conversations. I was happy to know this Great Guy. More than that, I was glad that Jesus was happy to be with me and found me to be a good friend and someone easy to get along with. We’re truly good friends to one another. However, I got to know Him even more when I arrived at a third place on my journey with Jesus which was the THIRD WEEK.
In the THIRD WEEK, I’ve seen much of the humanness of Jesus. I’ve seen and witnessed how He was afraid to take the sufferings He must undertake, so afraid that He sweat blood in His loneliness and agony in the Garden of Gethsemane wherein He prayed and begged God the Father if it was possible for Him not to take the Cup. Yet in the end, He accepted because of His Love for His Father. More than that, He humbly accepted it because He loved me. That was why He was able to face His sufferings though they were so unbearable. He was humiliated, insulted, mocked, beaten, whipped with spikes, forced to carry His Cross, and nailed on His Cross before He breathed His Last. Because of my closeness to Him as His kabarkada, I felt His pains so badly. I felt how He was whipped as each whip lash torn a portion of His flesh. I felt the heaviness of the Cross at His weakened state since He hadn’t eaten, drunk, slept, nor rested momentarily even the night before. I felt the pain of His wounded body as He cried aloud in agony as His garments were torn off. I felt the simultaneous pounding of nails on His Hands and Feet. Most of all, how He struggled to breathe before He expired. I was really hurt for every punishment He took. I was grieving so badly at my Friend whom I loved much and who took this punishment. So even a God can suffer very excruciating pains and agony, I learned. What a crazy thought, I said. I then asked Jesus why He had to take this punishment and make it all the way to His death which only fools would do since He did no wrong. He answered me that He did it for me. I asked why. He humbly answered that He loves me much and that was why He took a great mile just to express His love for me. I asked further why did He love me. He answered me that it was because I have a special place in His Heart. I finally asked Him, “How much do you love me?” He then gently said, “This much.” I then looked up at my crucified Friend and beheld the sight. All of a sudden, I knelt and bowed down as tears suddenly dropped from my eyes. I was so sad that He had to do this for me out of love. For this, I couldn’t thank Him much for His love is so indescribable and even far greater than the gravity of the punishments He endured for me. What a Friend He was! I was then crying in sadness yet in thanksgiving. But my days of sackcloth came to an end when I arrived at the last leg of the journey with Jesus which was the FOURTH WEEK.
The FOURTH WEEK was where I was taken by surprise as Jesus suddenly appeared to me FULLY ALIVE and happy in my moments of sadness and desolation. His wounds and scare were still on His Body but He was indeed alive for He can perfectly stand and move about. Most of all, He was able to console me with His words of peace, encouragement, and happiness. Yes, He was happy because He was really happy to be alive for and see me. I, too, was so overjoyed at His glorious resurrection. He then told me that the reason why He was able to rise mightily from His Death was because of His love for me, a love so strong that not even death can destroy it! How wonderful is Jesus’ Love for me! How amazing the love of God! It was indeed an ALLELUIA for me as I praised God in the person of Jesus for this awesome, magnificent, and amazing grace and power called LOVE.
As I’m about to reach the end of my tour with Jesus, I can’t deny that I learned so many things. For instance, I can be like Jesus by imitating His human attitudes and values. I can never be afraid because He’s always there with me through the Holy Spirit (Cf. Gen. 26:24). So courage is guaranteed when I asked earnestly and humbly from God as a grace. With it, I can really stand firm, no matter how terrible the criticisms I will reap from different people and not matter how hard life may be. After all, I’m not here to please anyone but I’m called to give my best in everything I do so I can really give glory to God as I do my best to find God in everything and everyone. God is indeed a wonderful and very cheerful Friend to be with because of my experience with Jesus. God dwells within me indeed, making me so special. He also dwells in every human being and in His creation. So I’ll take care of His Handiwork and love and respect follow human beings, especially you my brothers and fathers because God lives in each and everyone of you. Lastly, there’s indeed a love so strong, stronger than death itself. I want to learn how to love like Jesus. I asked Jesus how. Yet He first asked me if I really wanted to learn this. I truly answered “YES.” He then asked me if I wish to follow Him. Again, I said “YES” with all of my willingness and great desire for it so I can express it in word and deed to all. In this way, I can share this Love that comes from God. More than that, I want to follow and be with my Friend Whom I love so much. He told me, “Then follow me. Your real journey has just begun.” Thus, it was the start of my journey with my new found friend and companion named Jesus.
Indeed, my testimony of my Long Retreat isn’t actually finished for I accepted to be and to go with Jesus in this Greatest Travel so I can really learn the Love of God and express and share it in my own giftedness and uniqueness as a person and a child of God. :superhappy: